i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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