We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize
