franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
