"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
