dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
