dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
