My nipple is on Facebook.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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