you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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