piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
