There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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