what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
