her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
