The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
