Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
