Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
