I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
