don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
