We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
