problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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