He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
