I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
