Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
My vagina just recognized that song.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
