His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
