Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
