YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
