The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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