worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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