I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
