I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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