Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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