Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
