Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
