I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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