What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
