I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
