I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
