I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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