Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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