Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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