I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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