I got chris browned last night
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
