Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Non-Jews are for practice
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
