I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
