Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
