i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
soo... how was my night?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
