Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
operation harelip BJ is a go
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I don't deserve a penis
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
