What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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