just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Randomize
