I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
