On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
