hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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