I want to make a zoo with you.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Your cock deserves a montage
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
