Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
