I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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